If you wanna make sense what you looking at me for?

June 2006

2006-06-19T20:24:12Z

so there has been depression, school, a big mistake i almost went through with, and europe, since i last wrote anything of importance in here.

i feel refreshed from these things, but still working on getting this job thing right. but i'm back because i need to write more. even this kind of writing. i've decided to work on a book. it might come along slowly but that's okay for now because at least i'm going to try.

i am living with scott and my friend meagan is staying with us. she has been having some life issues, the kind that keep people out of their own homes. it's nice having her around but it's hard adjusting to this life after europe, especially with another person added to the mix. regardless, there is this shining determined goal in front of me now- save money and the fuck out of this shithole state, hopefully even out of this country for a while. it's a glaring determination, one that i couldn't possibly lose sight of, especially after so much perspective and away time.

bowl of butter

2006-01-25T20:18:26Z

ew. don't ever put margarine on your noodles because you don't have enough spaghetti sauce.

it's disgusting
it's especially disgusting when you are already turned off by food because you are very ill.
i wish someone was here to make me grilled cheese (or, at least, that i had cheese and bread)

yes, i haven't posted in ages and this is my return.
kind of

like whoa

2005-10-02T16:47:25Z

Daniel (and any other person who fancies that he/she is worthy),

DUDE FOR REEEEAL

go to bricktestament.com

this IS the COOLEST thing in the WORLD

thoughts on education

2005-09-21T20:38:45Z

a recognition of cheating one’s fondest love. cheating it by neglect, due to a pursuit of less noble (but pleasurable) activities. soon, school will be a memory. the thought settles while sitting in class allowing knowledge spill into the brain. there was a discussion about jazz, about dadaism, about fitzgerald and diamonds, about the beginning of motion pictures ("the 20th century god"). the eyes begin to bulge with interest, the ears perk up so as not to miss a moment, the tongue lashes out in an effort to express a reaction to what the senses are taking in. you begin to fall in love with the brains of the people surrounding you, even those that have little to offer at the moment. But you realize that if you were with these people in another time or place, they too would have SOMETHING to offer you.

You allow each person’s contradiction to take you over…

an elderly man who asks too many questions has a bitter, nonchalant, eternal humor in his every sentence

a beautiful homosexual artist who wears sandals and says "right on" way too much is also capable of reveling ancient secrets each week. all while maintaining the presence of genuine humanitarian, the likes of which you’ve never encountered in such a young person

a pretentious dave matthews band fan who thinks he is a better leader than you also writes the most exquisite, funny, poignant short stories of anyone you've ever met at school

a 33 year old republican woman who never considers any opinion other than her own reminds you that you should never do the same. So you listen to her and she shocks you with her extremely attentive and devoted reading and her ability to extract everything she can from that reading (even if she inevitably slants it toward her own purposes in the end)

of course there is also the woman heading the class... your own personal helen. as you grow older you being to see that she is ALSO imperfect, yet you will still launch ships in her honor any day of the week.

you love these people madly and intensely for a few hours each week. Eventually, however, they will slip away along with all of the magnificence surrounding the entire scene.

all this external awareness brings you to the realization that THESE are the years that you will remember on your death bed. the conversations, the arguments, the IV drip of knowledge that makes the blood in your veins pump faster and causes your ears to ring with the music of a choir

you feel guilt weighing you down as you are reminded of all the shortcuts you've taken, the half assed attempts you've made, the things you didn't extend your research on, the times you stayed quiet during a discussion, the times you DOODLED instead of listening to a discussion, every tiny diversion plagues you at this moment because it is never enough

you always need more
but for some reason you still cheat this love of yours
and worse... you can't hunt down the reason for doing so

DANIEL SUPERMAN

2005-09-15T05:10:25Z

daniel is the most magical, wonderful, bestest friend a girl could ever have
i love him

and wish to spend way more time with him

procrastination woes

2005-09-14T16:26:21Z

i just realized that the "easy" and "quick" reading i have been putting off is immanuel kant.

if i had known that, i would have started earlier. Kant's always been a super slow read for me.

demons up your ass

2005-09-13T15:25:01Z

so i saw the exorcism movie last night. eh... turns out ALL the reviews were right. the movie was really creepy, and all the scenes that involved the girl w/ the demons inside her were pretty cool. the acting didn't suck like everyone claimed, it was actually pretty decent. the problem was, of course, the extreme religious propaganda. it was strong and it was in your face. if you are a woman, it would especially be in your face suggesting that if you are an ambitious agnostic lawyer, or a young girl who wishes for more than life on the fucking prairie.... well, satan will getcha! furthermore, you should relinquish your chance to die should such a thing happen to you. instead, a good girl should suffer like the martyr that she truly is. otherwise, people might have a hard time believing in your nonsense story and the priest who loves you so much will go to jail. YIKES! practice that decent christian piety girls... those demons don't look fun.

eh. at any rate... it was entertaining. the coolest part was when the demons were naming themselves and they were the demons of nero, cain, and the famous legion from the bible

class tonight. i'm too tired and my head is spinning, but i have to go

surfacing

2005-09-12T21:03:51Z

i'm making a vow to livejournal... which, of course, is rather lame
but so it is

everything is about to bust wide open for me
things are gonna get weird indeed
i'd like to have the outlet that i've been ignoring

YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS

1) go get Babbitt by Lewis Sinclair and read it. It is a bit of a beat you over the head type thing, but it's brilliantly executed. if the current state of the world has made you feel helpless and insignificant, and you are sick of being a dronecog-in-the-wheelconsumerworshippingmaterialgoods then make that feeling last...

by reading this motherfucking book!

2) listen to maggot brain and feel better again

tonight, after a week of bitter emptiness and intense stress i will hopefully go see the exorcism of emily rose. i hear it is quite the pro catholic propaganda film, but it looks creepy! i don't expect my life to change after seeing it, but it should be fun. i need that (part of the whole previous drone message). i hear it has great/terrible acting... the reviews are love it or hate it. i just want to shut my brain off and get goosebumps from scary demon voices.

that's the plan

schedule problems

2005-08-29T20:43:20Z

I just realized i'm in a bind. As far as graduation goes, i fucked up. I've been taking all these courses that don't fit into my program. SO NOW i have to take 10 courses (40 credits) to be done.

I wanted to be finished in fall 06, and this is still possible. BUT the problem is that i will have to load one semester with four courses. not too big of a deal really i can easily do that in the summer, but i wanted to take the summer off. :(

oh well.

the other thing that sucks is that i've filled up my elective requirements, so now i have to take yucky stuff for the rest of my time there. AND i have to assume i'll be able to work these classes into my schedule. since a great deal of them (5) are for my minor, and my minor classes are never available, i have the feeling i'll get fucked.

on one hand it is okay because it means i get more free scholarship money (isn't that evil?)
on the other hand... i'd like to be done so i can get out of florida.

i'm looking at oxford now.

whhhha

i've also decided to drop my informal essay course and add the shakespeare course. this is a daring act on my part because this shakespeare class is SERIOUS and the informal essay class is easy

BUT

they are making me research orlando in that class. you know what? i'm so over this place i can't even stomach the idea of immersing myself in studying this sestpool for an entire semester. i'll take the challenge of an interesting course ANY DAY over that garbage.

i'm so in love with my theory class... i totally want to make out with my textbook

hey, this hurricane stuff is scary
i feel like a jerk talking about my classes while part of the country is sinking
ME ME ME ME ME!!!!

jobs and houses

2005-08-23T16:01:09Z

hopefully i'm not jinxing myself, but it seems i am employed once again.
after searching for what seems like ages, i think i landed a job at a local italian restaurant.

the no job situation has been making me really depressed off and on, i really hope it works out.
today is my first day of fall semester! literature in the jazz age. how fuckin' cool is that? i have this huge anthology of harlem renaissance writing. and, of course, because it is dr. sinclair there is also a large book filled with all of fitzgerlad's writings.

awesome
now it just needs to get cool outside. rollins is so beautiful in the fall/winter

my parents sold their house. they move on sept. 19
i'm really freaked out by the whole thing. this is the house i grew up in, i don't know anything else. the idea of new people living there just seems entirely sacreligious.

my life keeps changing

today, at the interview, the guy asked me how old i was.
since i just had a birthday i got confused and said 24
i'm 23

i thought only old people forget how old they are
i feel old

unwanted

2005-08-18T16:51:17Z

i watched a really bad movie the other day called "you are alone." it SOUNDS like it would be great, but it was not. however, it did manage to get under my skin with a couple of scenes, and i ended up in a long stretch of despair.

scott and i have fallen off the wagon with our "drink only on the weekends" policy.
i think i'll drink very little over the weekend to make up for it.

i had a really fucked up dream about "the forgotten"
i was saying goodbye to all of them
the fact that it was in my brain at all is pissing me off, but maybe my brain hadn't let go
i hope that now it has

i have a headache :(

iamagoat2 @ 2005-08-15T15:21:00

2005-08-15T19:21:46Z

i'm being quite the slacker. i should be writing my paper

bah i hate that paper, i've just been putting it off too long. now i want it dead.

i got this off daniel's LJ. i totally forgot about this picture, it's frightening! good times in goth land
and since i'm all focused in on the past, i might as well mention that i finally found robert. he seems to be doing well, i'm very happy about that. he had me worried over the years.

i'm going to work
for real

weight loss woes

2005-07-27T20:39:30Z

so, i have to say, despite some genuine concern from people i respect, i have started doing the stomach shots for weight loss.

everything about this plan seems like a healthy and safe additon to regular weight loss through diet and exercise. i might regret it later, but i had to give it a shot (oh my god! i SWEAR i didn't mean to make that goofy pun).

however... i want to thank everyone that talked over this stuff w/ me (even via lj). all your opinions really went into account.

i know i have some diet and exercise guru's on here, so i'd love it if you could help me with some starting exercise workout ideas or healthy meals that don't require too much cooking. i want to start a healthy lifestyle all around so that i don't fuck this up again.

holla back bitches!

boohoo whoa is me...all that stuff

2005-07-20T20:19:08Z

okay, the job thing.

i thought i had this one in the bag. so it goes...

i've pretty much given up on all hope
oh yes, it is looking bleak

mary called from 459
i'm doomed
i had to accept

i will work there saturday
sunday

and then probably the rest of my life

this will be the last job search post
i'm sick of the issue

one more

2005-07-20T18:52:35Z

this is also great. i can't help myself, they keep coming.

"A bird on a twig flashed, flicked its tail, and made a sound that somehow reminded me of a hair clipper. the man ahead of me turned around to look at the bird. walking behind him, i managed to see no more than the first phase, the half-moon of his face. he was smiling.
'it is like a hiar clipper, isn't it?' i almost shouted, certain that the same resemblance must have struck him.
Bowler hat."

BOWLER HAT! yes :)

yuri olesha

2005-07-20T18:44:50Z

here is the kind of detail, in a narrative, which i lack.

"he was carrying a pillow. he was holding a large pillow in a yellow pillowcase by one corner. his knee kept hitting it. as a result, shallow depressions in its surface came and went."

so seemingly pointless... but such brilliant detail!

i need to work on observation of small (seemingly pointless) details.

There is also this (which has more purpose for the story). i am in love with it.

"once again, like a child, i can control the little interval of time separating the first heaviness of the eyelids, the first blurring of vision, from the onset of real sleep. once again i am able to prolong that and--before being completely engulfed in sleep, while still in command of conscious awareness--to watch these thoughts already take on dream-flesh, as when bubbles of sound from watery deeps are transformed into quickly rolling grapes, and then a plump cluster of grapes appears, and a whole vineyard, thick with clusters, and the path along the vineyard, a sunlit road, summer heat...

i'm twenty-seven."

LOVE

apparently this is this man's only novel (novella actually, i think)
it is called envy
read it

so scott just got one of those absurd myspace accounts. for him, i suppose, it is not so absurd because it helps promote the magazine.

but

it has caused me to think terrible thoughts, like...
"maybe i SHOULD get a myspace account after all!"

sigh

should i jump on the mindless bandwagon? who will be my friend?!!!

predestination woes

2005-07-12T17:26:22Z

still no job.

right now all i want to do is sit in a corner and cry
alone
for hours.

i thought i'd work on my roman polanski paper, get ahead, but my brain feels like someone has taken a jackhammer to it.

i hate when all i want is sleep.
this is the worst feeling for me ever
no control
no financial stability
no motivation as a result

all equal to grand bouts of depression.

i fucking hate the chemicals in my brain.

i am loving my russian lit course with extreme intensity, but even that does not sound appealing right now.

iamagoat2 @ 2005-07-09T21:14:00

2005-07-10T01:14:56Z

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

iamagoat2 @ 2005-07-09T16:09:00

2005-07-09T20:10:16Z

my internet is back up!

LJ meme advice to my 16 year old self from my 23 (well, almost) year old self

2005-07-01T17:47:36Z

chrissy,

hey. i'm you from the future. that's right, like the ghost of xmas future only without chains. listen to this shit, bitch.

all that depression you feel all the time, it doesn't go away. it gets worse. so instead of focusing on how to kill it with drugs, just focus on how to live with it. the drugs will just make your daylight hallucinations worse. you'll go crazy before you graduate- paranoid with the fear. wouldn't you like to avoid that?

i know you are trying really hard to make everyone forget about that whole stupid gothic thing you did. no one will, and you'll just look stupid trying. don't be scared to wear black... it suits you from time to time. embrace that part of your 14 year old self (even if it seems silly) it ends up being a part of you that never seems to truly disappear.

you are obsessed with that boy rocky. i know (you can't fool your future self dumbass). everyone knows assface! your idea to quit newspaper (because you only joined for him) is stupid! don't do it, it will be a huge regret. afterall, when you get a little older you will realize he is kind of a douche. hot, sure... but his band sounds like 311. you know that's uncool!

while we are on the subject of boys, let me give you a rundown. you will whine about rocky for a year and after that you while whine about two christian boys (one who ends up getting engaged to your friend shana). all three of these boys are unattainable, especially when you tell them they are stupid and weak for believing in god. so don't waste your brainpower thinking about them and writing shitty poems about them. when you look back on all your high school poetry you will feel great shame as a result. your boy craziness never will seem to go away. so learn to regulate it!

robert is gone. you are sad but you think he will get in touch with you. he won't. it will always bother you, start getting used to it.

the good news about boys? chris and scott are both on the way. chris will be one of the most important people in your life. he will make you grow and he will make you have faith in people. you will destroy him with your old selfishness and cowardice. you will never forgive yourself. go about things differently. don't hurt him, the guilt is crushing. you are right, scott IS the one you end up with. so don't turn him away, just don't be such a deceptive shit eating bitch.

scott will ask you to marry him when you are 22 years old. you will be experiencing typical 20something confusion about life so you will decline. you would be wise to act like less of a psychotic maniac after you decline. you are only doing it because you are scared... you will think about it every second for over six months and tell yourself a number of lies. they all amount to one thing, you are terrified of how much you love this one man. you are afraid of what he can do to you in such a vulnerable state. STOP BEING SCARED. he loves you intensely (probably as much as you love him). decline still, you are not ready. but know that it will happen one day. don't let anything get in the way of that, be good to him. though you two are very different you are also very similar. don't waste tons of time at the beginning of your relationship worrying if he is cheating (or will cheat) on you. don't obsess over the exploitation, you can't, it will close you up to him. it takes you too long to realize he loves you. pay closer attention.

you are going to recognize your duty as a feminist. all your aspirations to become a writer will start to shift toward a much more political ground as a result. it will become a huge part of you, a part you've been forced to supress. chris will help show you that part of yourself, make sure you thank him more for it. picking up this intense knowledge and understanding of feminism, you will often be discouraged by people and you will be made to feel like a freak. don't waste one tear on it, use it. you will also stop mindlessly following your family's politcal views and develop your own. you probably don't believe that you will change so drastically, but you will. you have very little of your own voice now.

your sister's marriage will be one of the most exciting days of your life. don't be such a fucking jerkoff! don't show up late to her house to help her w/ plans. don't forget that awesome gift she gives you on her wedding day. don't forget how much you love her and want to be the best maid of honor in the world for her. it will bother her and it will bother you. you are young, you do stupid young people things, but brian rupich is a moron. don't be late for your sister because he has a crisis w/ his mother. after all, the guy will end up thinking he should have his moronic thoughts brodcasted. he will fail out of high school. you will be ashamed of him. he will the dumbest boy you ever date.

you are going to feel really guilty after you fail out of your first semester of college. don't. it's not your fault, no matter what anyone made you feel about the situation. you were very very very sick and very very very far from ready to leave home. the failure will torture you for a couple years and then you will see the bigger picture. after you fail, you move in with chris. you will never ever regret that.

please don't be such a baby when sarah upsets you after you move in with chris. you will lose her for about a year. you will always wish it never happened, it certainly isn't worth it. you won't even remember how it started a few years later. what the two of you have should never be interrupted by anything or anyone.

your parents are a lot more supportive than you think, even if they have insane standards for you. they will help you get back into school after they stop being bitches about your initial failure. you won't fuck it up again, you'll get into rollins (that will be where you will want to go. dr. sinclair will be there). you will get tons of scholarships and you will actually be in love with your education more than anything else you possess.

you will continue to have job problems. you will hold a million jobs. that situation is still unresolved, maybe your 30 year old self should talk to you about that instead.

get back into swimming! if you do it before you graduate high school you can keep at it. right now (in the future) you are trying and it's wayyyy hard. you have gained weight, you are still smoking, and you are out of shape. just don't give it up and we can avoid this awkward time we are going through NOW.

on jobs and swimming- swimkids will seem like the best job that has ever happened to you. you will think of it in career terms. you will make ridiculous sacrifices for the job. you will get FUCKED royally by that orange skinned jesus freak of a boss. he will lie to you, steal your money, and fire you. you decide if it is worth going through or not. it probably is, but just know you can't trust his word. so cash that check before he stops it.

the dave navarro thing, it'll fade. he'll marry carmen electra too, it'll be strange. but he'll come out with a solo album and you and chris will drive to DC to see him live. you will cry your eyes out like a fucking little wounded girl. it will be a highlight in your life.

you'll get to see jane's addiction, so stop holding that against your sister. it will be w/ a bassist who can't keep up, and you'll be far away, sarah won't be there (with you) because you two are not speaking but chris will. it will be a pleasant experience.

when you get choked, don't be afraid. it's okay... it's going to be okay.

go to chicago while you are dating chris! fall in love with it earlier in life. you are missing out big!

don't do that thing you did in your online english class. it will be the first and last time, but it will be one of your few major regrets in life. it's not worth it. just buy a planner and USE IT.

sex gets better. for sure! i'm serious! it really does, i promise. you even start to like it quite a great deal. look forward to that.

dr. brooks. when you walk into your mythology class at valencia for the first time, don't read harry potter the whole time your professor introduces himself. he is going to be your inspiration. he will be why you love your education. he will be why you make it into rollins. he will be your idea of intellectual perfection. he will help you along the way. he will give you inner strength and confidence. he will surpass dr. sinclair (you don't believe me, but he will). he will help you find your writing voice. all in all he will be your mentor. so listen to those words, and sit in awe of his majesty. harry potter can wait.

you don't know what harry potter is, do you? when you fight it in the beginning it will be for nothing. you will become obsessed with it. i promise you, it IS good.

your dad has LOTS of BIG (and sometimes very strange) secrets. just roll with it. he's still dad and you still love him with your entire being.

hunter thompson will die. go to owl farm w/ daniel before he does!! you two will procrastinate and one day you'll get a text message, after an already awful evening, and it will inform you that he has just committed suicide. you'll never make it out there.

who's daniel? daniel is sarah. don't look so shocked. when you are 18 you will have a conversation with him that will make you realize it could be a possibility. when you find out a few years later, you will not be shocked. you will have a hard time dealing with it at first, you will feel like your old friend is different than your new friend. well, he is... but he isn't. it will make him happy, it will make him whole in a way that he never was while he was sarah. it will strengthen him as a human being. you will love him just as much and you will grow used to all the changes except the past tense pronoun usage. annnnnnd he makes a lovely boy!

maybe spend more time at school your senior year. at least just so that you don't get your license revoked, that will haunt you later when you are buying insurance. otherwise, live it up. you won't be able to later because school will actually be work. your graduation, don't go. it's lame, you get sore feet from the shoes you wear, and you miss the NIN concert. you skip NIN because you think you will regret not going to your graduation, it's really the other way around.

you will get into a very serious car accident that you will barely survive. you'll start to think about god like a complete asshat. don't waste your time. you will be smart enough to come to the conclusion that it was an important event, a traumatic event, but just an event nonetheless. no god. also, don't be scared to call your parents. they don't get mad. also, ricky will prove himself to you while you are in the hospital. try to stay closer to him in later years.

it's ok to contradict yourself. in fact, it is one of the things that makes you so fucking awesome!

bagel king. you should work something out there where you don't lose the job. it is still not far enough in the past to know if it was worth it or not, but the money is great and it's the only job you really enjoy. it would be good to stick w/ it through college. awkward situations occur from this place, probably some for the best and some for the worst. just, whatever you do... don't take it seriously. just focus on keeping the job and the money. cut the drama. approach your friendship w/ josh differently so that things don't get weird there. they do get weird and they cause problems with the person you love. know that a friendship like that needs to be kept at bay when you start to confuse feelings. i, in the present, have a difficult time talking about it because it is right behind me. just keep your awareness that whole time. because you don't. don't put the one you love through things he does not deserve to go through.

you have a child on the way. a beautiful black kitten with a large head. the bear looking baby. the bike. he is your angel. when he attacks your feet at night don't kick him out of bed. when he moves with chris to chicago you will be sad that you ever turned him out of the room.

you are so fucking awesome! don't you forget that shit.

Chrissy 2005

me and alcohol are not close buds anymore

2005-07-01T14:32:57Z

i'm so frustrated.
i went out last night with daniel and we had a fabulous time.
i didn't get too drunk, but since i have cut wayyyy down on my drinking the alcohol gave me a headache.
now i'm all headache world and i can't even sleep.
bastard alcohol

i really didn't even need it. daniel is so much fun, there is no need for alcohol other than my raging antisocial anxiety.

i'm going to take some headache medication and try to sleep another hour before i pack all damn day.
when i wake up i'm going to do that note to your 16 year old self meme...

it should be fun!

other things to do...

dispute bank charges in writing
fill out scholarship papers and get ready to send on monday
go to bank and pay what i do owe them
go to bank of america to try and get that $100 with a new account
call and reserve the uhaul (i'm a total jackass for not doing this yet!)
call rollins about check

this list is unrealistic
especially with a headache!

i smell

2005-06-30T18:50:22Z

yea! we moved a few boxes (daniel and i).
i LOVE the new place, it's so huge. there were these wasps hanging out over the door though, i need to take care of that for sure. i tried to call the office to do it, who knows if they will. daniel said he would only spray it if he had a bee suit (which i found hilarious).

i <3 daniel... good times fun world. he's awesome for helping me move, even that little bit.

now i need to shower, i'm stinky and sweaty.
this weekend is going to be absolute HELL
i hope some monstrous cold front hits. ha
that would never happen

run of the mill human disgust

2005-06-29T19:01:47Z

i just watched Closer
it ruined my afternoon because we are animals
the harder we try not to be, the more it seeps from our disgusting pores
we are all alone and we know no one

socialization only goes so far and then we become monsters
and
socialization makes us monsters

no hope
no exit

self loathing kids?

2005-06-29T06:58:31Z

i have a goal in sight.

i'm going to do this transformations weight loss thing. you shove hormones in your stomach with a big fucking needle and then starve yourself.

woohoo

it sounds a lot more drastic than it actually is, i suppose.
but i'm doing it
and when my check comes in sept. i hope to be 15lbs lighter.
i will be going on a shopping spree

this means i have to keep up the swimming exercises
and do this crazy super low calorie seemingly all protein diet

but they say the hormones make it easier to do such insane things to your body
by my birthday- i better have this goal complete

or i'll hate myself

i hate everyone

2005-06-28T13:51:13Z

Dear Christine:

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider you for employment within
Harcourt Education.

We have carefully reviewed your resume and evaluated your skills, experience and
professional accomplishments with respect to the Project Editor I - HSP - TEMP
position, for requisition 215367 in Harcourt School Publishers. It is our
belief that the most successful, long-term work relationships between company
and employee can only be achieved through a careful match of applicant to job.
With this philosophy in mind, we will not be pursuing your candidacy for the
Project Editor I - HSP - TEMP position.

Thank you for your interest in Harcourt Education. We wish you success in your
future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Harcourt Education